November 29, 2007
ONE DEFINING MOMENT
I must be honest in telling you that I have three men in my life. First and foremost is the Loveman. He always seems to take the cake. Then there is Liam who is the sweetest, kindest 7 year old I could ever ask for in my life. Yes, I know what you’re thinking? How could anyone else compare to the Loveman and Liam? Well there is someone who can hold his own with these guys and his name Seamus Henry Carney and he’s ¾ Irish, ¼ Italian and couldn’t be cuter.
Today was a big day for Seamus. He had his 18 months check up where he received a series of vaccinations including the painful and dreaded tetanus. He was a trooper up until the tetanus and then he cried an angry "how dare you let them do this to me" cry. I immediately gave him a sucker and he seemed to calm down rather quickly. He did very well. After his appointment we headed off to the gym. When we pulled into the parking lot there was a car parked with a bike on a roof rack. I pointed the bike out to Seamus and he stared at it as we drove by. As I was carrying him into the gym he looked over his shoulder and said “Bike”. I looked behind me and there was the bike that I had showed him earlier. I couldn’t believe my ears. He actually saw the bike, recognized the bike and called it by name. I repeated it back to him and he continued to point at it and say "bike" over and over. My child must be brilliant or a Lance protégé… or maybe all the cycling brainwashing we are doing is starting to work. I’ll have to write this in his baby book...I guess that means I’ll have to run out and get one.
November 27, 2007
I CAN'T MOVE
No I haven’t broken my legs, I just can’t stop eating. It’s nothing new. This has been a lifelong problem that I am still unable to shake. I started out strong in September and made a promise to my public to lose 25 pounds. Once I got to 9 pounds I thought the rest would just melt off me. Fat chance. I had been working so hard on my weight loss program that I finally thought I was ready to ditch my size (10 -12’s) and become a size 8 permanently! Looks like I did it and then let it all go to pot. The more I rode the hungrier I became. I started getting cocky thinking, “Oh I’m riding so much I can eat whatever I want.” Yah, right. That type of thinking can only go so far (especially when you’re 40).
Then we got a new scale and it made me realize the harsh reality that our old one really sucked and I was much larger than I ever thought I was. I’m not in college so I can’t use the “freshman 20” excuse anymore nor can I say “I just had a baby” seeing that Seamus is 18 months old. I need to come up with some new lines.
I have never been skinny and never will be but I’m just asking for a little help from the person big girls talk to (whoever that is). Maybe it's the fat angel, the fat god or the fat psychics? That could be exactly what I need! A fat psychic that can hypnotize me to put down the brownies, guac, Doritos, potatoes, bread, etc. It's worth a try.
The worst part of all of this is that I’m performing Woman on the Rag this weekend at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre in Frederick and I can’t fit into my dress for the final number. I guess my enormous holiday gut is getting me down, literally. People are going to start mistaking me for Santa. I've got to get it together.
November 25, 2007
BLUE SEA, ISLAND BREEZE, GOOD FRIENDS AND NO BIKES
This past weekend two of our very close friends, Tracie and Dave got married in St. John. Why St. John you ask? Simple. St. John was the first vacation they had ever taken together and they loved it so much that they wanted to go back to where it all began. The Loveman and I knew that we couldn’t miss this monumental event so we did everything in our power to get there. This meant traveling on Thanksgiving weekend (eek!) and farming out the monkeys to a total of 6 different people during our mini excursion. 
The weekend was attended by an intimate group that included a few choice family
members and the Loveman and I. We were truly honored to be part of such an important day in Tracie and Dave’s lives. On our arrival day we made it to St. John in time for happy hour and proceeded to spend a jam packed 48 hours on the island. Those 48 hours consisted of an incredibly breathtaking ceremony on the beach and lots of drinking and eating and eating and drinking. Talk about a good time!
As we were getting ready to catch our ferry back to St. Thomas I realized that I never saw a bike the whole time we were there, not one. I kept thinking that if there was one thing that would be fun to do on the island (in addition to eating and drinking) it would be riding my bike. I decided that my pink and white Lime bike with the pink basket would be the perfect island bike. Maybe Tracie and Dave will renew their vows next year and I’ll go back with my pink Lime in tow. How fun would that be?
November 23, 2007
WHAT A HAPPY TURKEY DAY!
On this Thanksgiving Day I was thankful for many things….the Loveman, the monkeys, my friends, my extended family and my new Trek family including Sweetness (and soon to be kidnapped Foxy, Husky and Midnight). I am currently working on a small loan from the bank.
Thanksgiving morning was absolutely beautiful. It was 68 degrees and sunny. As a special treat the loveman let me go riding at 9am with our cycling club, Harford Velo. My favorite ball-busting whip cracking militant ride leader, Murray Davis, was leading the ride. At the beginning of his rides he sounds off marching orders to his riders as if he was a drill sergeant. He’s a pretty cool cat with a true passion for fitness and riding and he’s funny as all hell. He runs his own company, Performance Resources LLC, and sometimes it bleeds over into his ride leading. It’s all good. I find it completely amusing and I have a blast ripping on him (hence bringing him up in the blog).
Our ride was 39 miles and we rode in Rock State Park then up to the King and Queen’s seat. The King and Queen’s is a majestic rock cliff with what appears to be 2 seats at the top with a place for sacred Native American ceremonies. We of course did not engage in ceremonies, Murray wouldn’t allow that. Instead we rode up the ¾ mile 17% grade climb to the seats. It was an intense little bit of climbing but by the end I was thankful for my legs and that they allowed me to ride up the climb instead of walking my bike up.
November 20, 2007
GET OUT OF THE ROAD!
One of the most appalling things I have ever heard recently took place while the Loveman and our friend Jason were taking a ride. They were riding in one of our favorite areas on a paved road with a huge shoulder. They started to make a right turn and had to move a little toward the white line to avoid a large pothole. Suddenly they heard a voice come over a loud speaker. The voice said, “Get out of the road!” No it wasn’t god; it was a blue unmarked police car. Unfortunately, the Loveman and Jason were turning and were unable to get the license plate off the car.
When they came home and told me what had happened I was appalled. The police are the people that are supposed to protect us and keep the roads safe for everyone. What a great example they are setting. Clearly this officer missed the part about sharing the road during his training. What an idiot...and who uses a loud speaker to sneak up behind a couple of riders and scare the living daylights out of them? Give me a break!
Needless to say I was a little fired up about this. I called and emailed our local law enforcement agency and they too were appalled by the incident. They conducted their own internal investigation and sent me a very nice email.
“These types of actions by our law enforcement officers are by all means unacceptable and not to be tolerated. Public trust and confidence in our officers is paramount in our profession and actions such as this only diminish our standing. I will have each Patrol Supervisor go over the "Rules of the Road" with their respective shift at role calls and hope everyone gets the message.”
I hope everyone gets the message too.
November 20, 2007
TRAINING IS FUN FOR EVERYONE
My personal trainer (I love the way that sounds), Superstar Mary, needed some information from me in order to come up with my program. One of the most important things was my resting heart rate. Apparently you have to get this before you get out of bed. Do you have any idea how hard that is to get? Every morning it seems as though I am quickly driven out of bed for one silly reason or another. Most of the time it’s because I have overslept and I have to bust out of bed to wake the kids so they can make the bus. 
You would think I would try setting the alarm. Yah, right, and monkeys are gonna fly out of my butt. But as I have said before, I am not a morning person and I would rather pretend it doesn’t exist. So bottom line getting my resting heart rate to Superstar Mary took me a while.
Eventually we moved on from that point and she gave me my training plan. I laughed out loud when I read it. On it there was a “rest day” listed. Hmmmm, a rest day….what the hell is that? I don’t even know how to rest. It is rare that I sit in one place for over 5 minutes. I always gotta move! The first day on my training plan was a rest day so I had made the decision of going to the gym anyway to do a light work out. To be perfectly honest, it didn't matter what I did at the gym. If I don’t go to the gym 
I lose my 2 hours of free daycare and my ticket to sanity for the day. I need that time at the gym…bad.
As I’m on my way to the gym I got a call that Liam was sick and I had to pick him up at school. Suddenly I had a day of full rest and 3 monkies at home. On the second day of my training plan I had strength training on a big fat inflatable ball. I couldn’t go to the gym because Liam was still home sick and I didn’t have a big fat inflatable rubber ball, so I made do. I worked out with cans of chili, a couple of 8 lb. weights and my leather cube. It worked out nicely. I had a full audience and I kind of felt like I was teaching a class…. in another language. If nothing else I’m not a quitter. Superstar Mary would be proud. But please don’t try this at home, unless you’re crazier than me...and don't tell Superstar Mary, she may drop me as a client.
November 18, 2007
IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE TRAILER
The Trek Demo Trailer could possibly be the best invention to mankind. A WSD trailer (Trek has four) filled with all the latest Trek WSD models to demo that rides around stopping at festivals and races across America. Let me start by saying I would have never met Jill (Northeast Trek Demo Chiclet), Foxy (full carbon WSD Top Fuel 9.8), Husky (WSD Fuel Ex 8), or my newest desire Midnight (formerly known as the 2008 WSD Madone 5.1).
Thank god Jill has been working the 95 North corridor because I have had the opportunity to see her a few times and demo her bikes. 
She was riding through a few days ago and insisted she stop by so I could try out the WSD Madone 5.1 (i.e. Midnight). We were pretty excited about riding. She unloaded her bike and the WSD Madone 5.1 and then a couple of my friends showed up and they were ready to ride. Next thing I knew my friend Lisa and I were fitted on the Madones and our husbands were right behind us as the four of us rolled out of the driveway. Where was Jill? She was left behind babysitting for my kids so we could all ride together. Could she be any nicer?
When we got home we were all as high as kites. The day, the ride, the company, and our bikes…what can I say? Lisa and I fell in love with the bikes. The new Madone is everything and then some. 
Lisa’s husband told her that she was worth a couple of new bikes so they headed straight to the bike shop where they ordered a WSD Madone 5.1 and a WSD Gary Fisher Mountain bike (that she tried out at the Delaware Trail Spinner Mountain Bike Festival).
The kids were alive and well and Jill had done an exceptional job as the nanny. We celebrated by taking some great trailer shots on my front lawn. I’m seriously thinking about getting a trailer of my own....the photo shoots, the stares from the neighbors, maybe I'll bleach my hair...could be fun. The opportunities are endless. Maybe Trek can help me out with that. We’ll see.
November 16, 2007
I'M IN BIG TROUBLE
This is scary stuff! No, not my life (that’s already scary enough) but now I have a new “trainer to be” and I'm in big trouble. I feel like I am getting a new confidant in a way. It's really kind of nerve wracking. OK, I feel the need to explain. After I started this crazy venture I talked with Trek about things I wanted to get moving on and goals I wanted to accomplish. I thought a trainer would be a nice addition to my stupidly lame “a little bit of this a little bit of that" training plan. So my dear friend and favorite Trek Chiclet, Krista, hooked me up with a trainer named Mary Daubert (formerly known as Grigson). I know what you’re thinking right now, “Wow Susan that’s great, your own personal trainer! What a perk to the job!” Believe me, I thought so to until I received a daunting email of which I will only include the highlights.
“Hi Susan, I understand that you are interested in personal training and Krista has given me your info. I am qualified as a NESTA certified personal trainer and a level 3 USA cycling coach. I spent 4 years with the Australian Institute of Sport as a developmental rider focusing on the 2000 Olympics. In 2000 I turned professional and rode for the Subaru Gary Fisher Mountain bike team until I retired in 2003. My major achievements are 5 time Australian Mountain bike Champion, 2 time American Series Mountain Bike Champion (see photo), 2 time World Cup Winner, 2 time Olympian, 24 hour Solo World Champion (2001) and I have also raced extensively on the road and have participated in triathlons.”
So after I read this I started thinking to myself, "What I am going to say to her that doesn’t make me look like a total loser?" Let’s see … I am a flabby mother of four that wishes she were in better shape. I carry an extra 20 pounds around just for warmth. I have no upper body strength BUT I nursed all my kids and my boobs look great in a push up bra. My greatest accomplishments are riding my bike instead of doing shots and popping pills all day every day…oh ya, and becoming the greatest actress of all time (in my head of course). I should be your most challenging client ever but I promise to make you laugh the hardest.
I’m a little nervous. Wish me luck…no, wish her more luck. She has no idea what she’s in for.
November 14, 2007
SHE’S A MAN, BABY!
Ok, so I clearly have a bladder control problem (see 10/15 blog) but I almost peed when I read this letter. It totally cracked me up. I just had to put it out there for all my peeps to read. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.
Bicycling Magazine – November 2007
“I made the mistake of purchasing my first road bike at a department store instead of a bike shop. I had no help deciding which bike would best suit my needs. Now I have a gorgeous Trek 1000 WSD. I am, however, not a woman. I will definitely buy from a bike store next time, but for now I am too embarrassed to take my bike in for help."
SSGT Charles Virgil, Ramstein, AFB, Germany
Charles won the letter of the month for Bicycling Magazine. Could this be funnier? I love it! Bottom line, the boys love the bikes too!... except 90% of the them are too afraid to admit to it. Bring on the WSD bikes! Everybody wants them!
November 13, 2007
RIDE LIKE A GIRL
Has anyone ever told you that you ride like a girl? If someone does, politely say thank you and then tell him or her to get a real bike (unless they’re riding a Trek). This past weekend I got a double whammy. Number one, I got to ride with the Ride Like a Girl Bike Club and number two, I got to demo the WSD Fuel Ex 8 (now known as Husky). Ride Like A Girl is this really cool bike group that focuses on women meeting other women who mountain bike. Their main focus is to work on your biking skills and fitness level in a nurturing and supportive environment. 
I was thrilled to be trying out yet another WSD Trek mountain bike as well as riding with a group of women that shared a similar passion and love for mountain biking. I mean let’s be real, you have to have a few loose screws in the head to be a mountain biker. The day was so much more than I ever thought it would be. I expected a fun ride in the woods at Patapsco Park but our incredible leader, Stacia ran the morning like a tiptop mountain bike clinic. Once we started I couldn’t just hang in the back and wipe out without an audience, I had to do things for an audience. We went up and down hills several times, repeated lots of log piles (until we guilted everyone into trying them) and discussed strategies in how to find a good line and where to keep your weight while riding. All good things to know.
The WSD Fuel Ex 8, I mean Husky, was a nice ride. I didn’t know how I was going to feel about the bike after riding it. Let me tell you, I loved it! Husky rode over everything! There were things that I looked at and thought no way but then I did it. The best thing about Husky was the nice pearl white color. It looks like Foxy now has a little competition on the trail. All in all it was a great ride and I only had one major wipeout (see bruise photo). It was a righteous fall and people even got to see it. That’s the best part about falling isn’t it?
November 11, 2007
KOMICS FOR KIDZ
On Friday night I had the honor of performing for at Komics for Kidz, a benefit for the Urban Leadership Institute. The Urban Leadership Institute supports the Paul Robeson Academic International School of Excellence. The school addresses the systemic challenges that affect African American males through a yearlong Saturday enrichment process. This free school is a one-of kind opportunity to correct some of the pitfalls that African American boys tend to make. Clearly a great cause.
First thing Friday morning all the comics did a radio show on 92Q, the number one rap and R & B station in Baltimore, followed by a fabulous breakfast. 
The evening brought many supporters and many laughs. The MC for the event and wife of the producer of the show, LeMarr Darnell Shields, was Meshelle Forman Shields. Meshelle and I met doing Nickelodeon’s Funniest Mom in America last year where we both were picked as finalists. She is very talented and a joy to perform with. In addition to Meshelle there were 3 other comedians that blew me away. Funny, funny, funny...I can say I knew them when. It my honor being able to perform with all of them!
The Urban Leadership Institute encouraged me to share my passions at the comedy show as well as while on the radio. I told everyone on the station and at the show about the Trek Women Who Ride and I even handed out Trek posters, autographed of course. The DJ’s at the station loved me, especially my cycling shoes ("feet" as they referred to them) and I think they may still have my poster hanging in their studio. All in all it was a fun funny day for a great cause!
November 10, 2007
TREK CARE PACKAGES
Part of being a Trek Woman Who Rides is that I get sent the most incredible care packages every couple of weeks. When I hear the rumble of the UPS truck I start to get the jitters. I stop whatever I am doing and run to the window to see if the UPS man is coming to see me. If I am not home Loveman the Tech takes it upon himself to receive and open my boxes. He told me that as Loveman the Tech he has every right to check out and test all my gear for safety and durability before I go anywhere near it.
Trek has given me some of the neatest stuff. In the last shipment I received nicely lined thick Trek leg, arm and knee warmers. I've never used knee warmers before but let me tell you they beat the heck out of a full leg warmer on an in between day. 
I also got a couple of WSD Trek winter jerseys with holes for your thumbs! I don't know what rock I have been living under but I have never seen such a thing! And the jerseys have hoods that fit nicely under your helmut. Yes, you look a little like a teletubbie but they keep your head, neck and ears really warm. On top of that I even got a fantastic rosey WSD Trek soft shell jacket and a nice black and red wool Trek cap that the Loveman would have stolen if I hadn't caught him.
When I got to the bottom of the boxes I heard a faint whining and then someone said "Hi Mommy!" I pulled
away some of the packing and what to my wondering eyes did appear but Kiley and Seamus! Now back on Halloween (See 11/1 blog) I had lost a couple of monkies during a haunted walk so finding them was quite a relief. How the hell they got to Trek I have no idea...but I do have my suspicions based on the photos. So thank you Trek for taking good care of my children and sending them back to me in one piece. I would have never found them without you!
November 7, 2007
FUEL ME UP BABY (Part 3)
Have you ever gotten a new outfit or appliance or pair of shoes that just get you so jazzed you feel like you’re on top of the world? Ok, so that’s exactly how I felt after meeting Foxy (formerly known as the WSD Top Fuel 9.8). She has jacked me up and sent me out into outer space!
First lets talk about the color, Onyx Carbon and Satin Silver with a pink
accent. Can you say sweet? The front and rear suspension make the ride so smooth that you wouldn’t even know you were riding over a log pile. Even if you get sick of it there’s always the conveniently located lockouts. Did I mention all the Shimano components that you can’t even hear or feel when you shift?
Seriously, Foxy has it down.
If you’ve ever considered getting a mountain bike for a second this is the bike to get…sexy, light, feminine and fun to ride. Oh I almost forgot, it’s really hard to shake…that bond. Once you ride it, you have to buy it. Wouldn’t you buy something that makes you feel like Superwoman? No one would ever believe I was a superhero …now they might. These photos aren't even photoshopped. Swear to god, I actually did that. Go figure.
PS – If anyone is interested in committing a felony, let me know as I am thinking of tracking down Jill's Trek Demo Trailer so I can break into it and set Foxy free.
November 5, 2007
FUEL ME UP BABY (Part 2)
When I grow up I want to have a club just like the Delaware Trail Spinners. After being a part of their Mountain Bike Festival I have decided that they could possibly be the coolest club around.
When I arrived early in the morning there was a guy happily riding around on his bike, ringing his bell and greeting everyone. He rode right up to me and said, “Welcome, would you like a bell?’’ Of course I said yes and then he gave me one for everyone in my group. As I approached the registration table I realized I had left my wallet at home…smooth move. The girls at the desk, who couldn’t have been
nicer, said, “Don’t worry, there’s no fee for the ride and we’ll cover your parking no problem.” As soon as Foxy and I were ready to ride I moved toward the starting line. There were members of the club, including their fearless leader Ray, individually chatting with all the riders trying to figure out each rider’s level of comfort on the mountain bike. Then they suggested a ride that would be suitable for each person. Foxy and I hooked up with a group of women and had some pretty awesome ride leaders and fellow riders. My leaders, Hattie and Lisa knew the trails like the back of their hand. Clearly you want your leader to know these trails, as there are more than 100 miles of trails to get lost on. You could very easily go on a ride and never find your way out for days. Yikes! The trails are all named by the Delaware Trail Spinners based on their experiences at Fair Hill. They 
have the funniest names such as: Drunken Sailor, Crackhead Bob, Punctured Lung, Stairway to Heaven, Crappy Start and Upchuck, just to name a few. The map alone is hysterical.
As the riders finished up people chatted and made new friends all while enjoying a fantastic barbeque, compliments of the Delaware Trail Spinners. Creative names, bells for everyone, love for mountain biking, respect for the trails and all riders and genuinely nice people that like to party. I want to hang with these people more often! Right before I left I saw one of the club members hanging by the Trek trailer. He was wearing a fabulous pair of leopard skin cycling shorts that matched his shades perfectly. I introduced myself and asked if I could take a picture with him. I told him that this could be the first time I have ever seen anyone look better than me on the bike. Damn, I need to get my hands on a pair of those shorts. Who knows, maybe if I did they would name a trail "Foxy Lady" in honor of Foxy and I. Anything is possible when you're a Woman Who Rides!
November 3, 2007
FUEL ME UP BABY (Part 1)
The lovely and talented Trek Demo Tour Gal, Jill came to a fantastic mountain bike festival this past weekend in Elkton, MD. It was sponsored and superbly organized by The Delaware Trail Spinners (Part 2). The Loveman and I had planned on going to the festival together until we were just about to walk out the door when our 3 year old started vomiting. I hate it when that happens. Yes, it put a little damper on our romantic outing (for the Loveman that is). I volunteered to stay home but the Loveman said, “Oh come on, you have to go, you’re the Trek Woman Who Rides.” He was right, I am a Woman Who Rides (still not sure how that happened but I love the way it sounds). I needed to be there. No, not because I needed exercise, not because I wanted to enjoy a beautiful day alone and not because I wanted to make new friends BUT because I was going to have a chance to demo the full carbon WSD Top Fuel 9.8 (now known as Foxy). I was about to hit the jackpot!
Jill used her expert skills in fitting and educating me on all the nuances of Foxy. My head was spinning and I was sweating as I patiently waited for my opportunity to ride. I was so excited and nervous. Once I started riding I felt an immediate bond with Foxy. She handled extremely well, not to mention she looked good, had a beautifully shaped top tube and was light as a feather. Normally the skinny chicks tick me off, but I really liked her a lot. Foxy struck me as one of those friends that I could get into some serious trouble with (and believe me I don’t need any more trouble in my life). We spent two and a half hours together and had a killer ride. We met awesome people, rode some of the best trails in MD and did some serious eating. I owe a lot to Jill for introducing me to Foxy. On the other hand, she had to follow me out to the parking lot and pry Foxy out of my hands before I threw her in the back of my car. That would be a bummer if Jill lost all respect for me over this and let Foxy ruin our relationship. Women and their addictions... we all know the story.
I hope to go out partying again with Foxy…real soon. So much more to share… Stay tuned for Part 2.
November 1, 2007
WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
I couldn't quite decide what to be for our Halloween party this year. I thought about being a cyclist because god knows I had lots of new cycling clothes to dress up in. I pulled out my favorite cycling jersey, jacket and shorts and the monkies looked at me like I had three heads. They said, "Mom, you're not dressing up as a cyclist for the Halloween party, are you?" They were kind of excited because they had actually guessed what I was but you could tell by the tone in your voices that they thought it was pretty lame. Yes, it's called a Halloween cop out. They were right, I always dress up as a cyclist. So I reached into my magical bag of wigs and pulled out my favorite one. I put together a fabulous costume and showed up as Roxi Starr, my cabaret singer. She was a big hit and even took all the kids on Roxi Starr's Haunted Tour in the woods. We're still looking for a couple of the kids as we speak. Scary stuff, huh?
