Trek Women
September 21, 2007

Lame game...

Lame_game_1 Ask any one of my friends and they’ll tell you, my dating game is lame! When I try to flirt, it looks like I’m about to have an attack. I get tongue-tied and can’t think of anything to say. I get overwhelmed at parties and work events and hide out in the ladies room to avoid mingling. (In truth though, I allow myself to go once an hour for a few minutes to regroup. I don’t stay in there the whole night as much I want to sometimes.)

It’s tragic really.

But, ever-conscious of my desire to ramp up my single’s speed from lame-o to dyn-o-mite, I actually talked to a goodlooking fellow not too long ago. I had just finished up a swim workout and was getting ready to leave when I crossed paths with a guy coming in to the pool area. He initiated a conversation and we chatted briefly about the water temp and swimming and stuff, then parted ways. Well, I’m giving myself a mental high five because not only did I open my mouth and speak, I did it wearing a bathing suit. Tell me that’s not progress.

With a little sass in my step, I entered the locker room, passing by a mirror. I did a double-take. Horrors!!!! I had mad hair horns on my head from pulling off my swim cap and my allegedly waterproof mascara had made a trip south to settle not so attractively below my eyes. Aggggghhhhhhh!

Still tragic, still trying.

Comments

Hi Laura,

Congrats on getting into biking, losing weight and getting the courage to get out there dating. I've done all myself over the last 8 years including keeping off over 100 lbs that I had lost by bike commuting.

To tell you the truth, the getting back into dating is by far the hardest. Even though I've had the weight off for a number of years, it's tough to get it out of your head. I still find myself thinking of myself as a fat guy and expect rejection. But I haven't given up. I'm about to throw myself back into the online dating fray after taking the summer off to ride as much as possible.

One thing I've found strange, there are loads of women who list cycling in their Match profiles but that doesn't seem to be something that works as a mutual interest. I've highlighted it in my profile but been much less successful in developing initial interest than when I don't mention it.

Why do you think that is? Having a hobby/lifestyle that occupies so much time is a turnoff? What have you found?

Anyway, I enjoyed reading your blog and good luck.

Posted by: Ed | Sep 21, 2007 12:51:45 PM

Hi Ed, it's Laura! Congrats to you first and foremost on your weight loss and especially the long-term maintenance. It's good to know it can be done!!!

You're way ahead of me with the online thing. I am not an expert dater, as you can tell from my blog, so this is my gut reaction.

I guess there's a difference between being a casual bike rider and a cycling enthusiast, maybe, when it comes to an online profile? I wonder if it's going to scare off a guy when I say let's go for a ride and he's thinking a spin around the neighborhood and I'm thinking a 50 miler?? I don't know (yet).

In my opinion, having a hobby makes you more interesting. And, either you appreciate my interests/or can deal with the time I spend on it or you don't, and you're not the one for me. Vice versa as well. Of course, there's compromise in there too.

This whole thing seems very complicated. :)

Posted by: Laura | Sep 21, 2007 4:45:00 PM

Hi Laura,

Thought you'd be swamped with comments since it looks like Trek sent out an email linking to your blog. Maybe everybody on the Trek list is out riding?

I think the online dating is worth a shot. Like the lottery says, you can't win if you don't play. So you have to at least put yourself out there. I am about 10 years older than you and at least in Boston, it's impossible to meet people my age. All the clubs are skewed much younger and you can't go out with people from work anymore, so online at least gives me a chance to meet women. I just rejoined Match/Chemistry in the spring then took a break for cycling season. I had recently broken up with a woman that I met on Match and went out with fairly seriously for about a year. I guess I'm sort of a cynical-hopeless romantic. The cynic keeps me from getting hurt too bad but the hopeless romantic keeps me trying. I'm pretty sure I'll get it right one of these times.

So do you ride with a club, friends or on your own? I primarily am out on my own but have thought of joining some organized rides. I'm a little worried about getting dropped but I guess you just have to find the right group. I can maintain a 15 mph average on my usual 30 mile loop on my Giant OCR (used to have a Trek but my favorite LBS only carries Giant and Cannondale). I should be able to find some people at that pace wouldn't you think?

Well, time to get out for a little ride before dinner. I was just wondering, do you do any work with my rep Ed Markey? He's been out front on the Net Neutrality issue, which if you want your blog to stay on a level playing field with others, is pretty important. He seems like a competent guy.

Posted by: Ed | Sep 22, 2007 3:14:38 PM

Hi Ed! Laura here on this bright, sunny Monday morning at least it is here in DC. I think you're right on -- you have to play to win in the dating game (hmmm, cool blog title.)So, that's what I'm going to try to do.

I usually ride with friends or on my own. I've been thinking about trying a ride with one of the local clubs or bike shops here; but, I'm not sure if I can sustain the speed. I guess it's like the dating thing, you never know until you try.

Have a good one!

P.S. Not familiar with Mr. Markey, I'll have to check him out.

Posted by: Laura | Sep 24, 2007 9:13:30 AM

If a guy is worth your time then he won't judge you by your mad hair horns and raccoon eyes. Besides, you know he was too busy feeling self-conscious about his chicken legs or appendectomy scar.

Posted by: Becky | Sep 24, 2007 12:29:46 PM

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