Trek Women
September 24, 2007

Where's my reward now...

Scale When you’re losing weight, you’re rewarded constantly for the effort. You sneeze one day and your droopy drawers fall down; you purge your closet of too big clothes and donate them to charity. Your co-workers ask if you’ve lost weight, then they start asking how much more you have to go. Your knees stop creaking when you climb a flight of stairs; you no longer think you’re going to barf after an hour of kickboxing. You make the momentous switch from shopping in the plus size section to browsing the racks in Ann Taylor. Those were the little moments that kept me motivated to moving the scale day after day. 

Now that I’m in maintenance mode, I find it’s a constant effort because the rewards have changed. No one says, “Hey Laura, you look like you weigh the same as you did yesterday. Good job.” I’m not focused on dropping down to the next size smaller and my closet is full.

I know how to gain weight and I know how to lose weight; but, I’ve never ever been in this place of sustaining the status quo before. I must confess that it’s 10x -- no make that 1000x -- harder than I thought it would be. There’s this devil voice inside my head that says, “You’re cured, you’re thin, go ahead and eat peanut m&m’s, you deserve it.” Devil voice needs to shut up because it’s making me nuts.

Tomorrow is my monthly weigh-in day and I’m not looking forward to it. Sure, I exercise just about every day and I’m not eating bad; but, I’m not watching my portions as precisely as I did either. I have a feeling the scale is going to be up a few pounds judging by my waistband today and it’s making me anxious. Yet, I only have myself to blame.

When I’m tempted to make less-than-great choices, which some days is hourly, I’ve got to remember that my reward now is my health and this lifestyle I fought so hard for. That’s what I deserve.


I know exactly what you mean! I live with the devil voice, too, but didn't have a name for it until now. My devil voice says I can eat french fries.

Posted by: Becky | Sep 25, 2007 8:25:44 AM

Devil voice loves french fries too - especially the ones in Amsterdam with the mayonnais on top. Hmmmm. But #1 will always be peanut m&m's. Dang it, devil voice is trying to convince me to go down to the vending machine now. SHUT UP! Ha ha ha :)

Posted by: Laura | Sep 25, 2007 9:15:02 AM

I can tell you it's hard to maintain. In addition to the little voice in your head trying to subvert you, your body also makes it harder. As it becomes accustomed to its new weight and exercise level, it becomes more efficient. And what happens is that at the level of calories and exercise that previously allowed you to lose weight, will now gradually start letting the weight come back on because of that new body efficiency.

The only thing I've found that works is to continually increase your calorie expenditure, put a few more miles in, to compensate for the increased efficiency. Weight training helps also since muscle mass burns more calories to maintain itself.

The fight never ends but you can wrestle it to a stalemate. Hang in there!

Posted by: Ed | Sep 25, 2007 9:36:31 AM

I haven't reached goal weight myself, but I've heard enough people say exactly what you're saying to believe it's true. In fact, my leader was saying that exact thing last night and she's been at goal weight for 7-8 years...

I admire your attitude ... you've worked too hard to get here to take the easy road out and let weight just drift back on. You're not the same as you were -- Just like Maya Angelou said "You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." You're doing better ... you're being honest with yourself, setting goals and holding on to successes. You know how to do it and why it's important and you just have to keep doing it, just like you had to keep doing it to get where you are.

You ARE an After!

Posted by: Ginger | Sep 26, 2007 8:00:37 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.