Trek Women
December 4, 2007

A date with the baron...

AlpsAm I too old for a chaperone? I get a Match.com message from “R”. We email back and forth, talk on the phone a few times and decide to meet. R seems nice, about my age, likes to run, is an art director by day and a weekend sculptor. He also says he’s a vegetarian, which is fine by me as long as you’re not going to stab me with a spork if I order a turkey sandwich.

We both like German food and R mentions a restaurant in Maryland that a friend highly recommends. We make plans to meet there after work on a Friday –- taking separate cars. Date night arrives and I mapquest directions. It’s at least a 90-minute drive, closer to 2 hours in rush hour traffic. This better be good.

I get to the restaurant a few minutes early. It’s cozy and very Bavarian looking. My cell rings and R tells me he’s running late because he had to pick up his friend.  Scenario (A) that’s running through my mind is that R had to pick up and drop off said friend along the way. Scenario (B) is what walked through the door.

Said friend -- I don’t know what his real name is, but he’s called The Baron. The Baron is 77 years old, robust, with white hair, rosy cheeks and small round glasses. He’s sporting a German-style leather vest and a green Alpine wool hat with a small feather. All he needed were lederhosen to complete the ensemble.

R had mentioned his friend, The Baron, during one of our phone calls.  The restaurant is The Baron’s favorite. The Baron is the one who drove them to the restaurant. Scenario (C), The Baron and R came together; but, he’s joining other people for dinner. Scenario (D) is what really happened.

The host seats R, The Baron and me at a small table. I order goulash and a large beer. The Baron picks the special and R orders wiener schnitzel. I ask R if he knows that schnitzel is made of pork. He says yes. I say, “Oh, I thought you were a vegetarian.” He replies, “Only on the weekends.” I’m gonna need another beer.

The evening rolls on and it dawns on me that I’m a third wheel on my own first date. I excuse myself to the ladies room. Scenario (E) make an escape through the window.  Scenario (F) laugh out loud and see what else could possibly happen.

I walk back to the table and R says to me, “You have a very nice body. I can tell because I am a sculptor.” He says this IN FRONT OF The Baron. I’m thinking, keep it to yourself there meat-eater. Shortly thereafter, our chaperone signals his need to head home. I guess it’s past his bed time. The Baron and my date walk me to my car. We all shake hands. Auf wiedersehen forever. The goulash was excellent though.

Still single, still willing to mingle.

Comments

Scenario (G) in your best Heidi Klum accent say to R, "you've been Auf'd!"

Posted by: Becky | Dec 4, 2007 9:38:45 PM

Auf-NIMMER-wiedersehen to him! Love your blog!

Posted by: Kris | Dec 7, 2007 9:49:18 AM

This could be the best line I have read on a blog lately..


I say, “Oh, I thought you were a vegetarian.” He replies, “Only on the weekends.” I’m gonna need another beer.

Posted by: Arleigh | Aug 11, 2008 3:40:11 PM

Type pad just ate my post I fear.

Keep it up.. single isn't always bad. Maybe we need to get you a trek "Single Minded" tshirt?

Posted by: Arleigh | Aug 11, 2008 3:41:28 PM

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